


Meeting the Signifs

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [57]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting, olive garden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 02:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7959568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>martha: john!!</p><p>johnn: I just had a heart attack but wHAT!!</p><p>martha: I've been trying to send this text message for the past hour and you're the one with the heart attack??</p><p>martha: anyway I want you to meet my signifs like soon</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting the Signifs

**martha** : john!!

**johnn** : I just had a heart attack but wHAT!!

**martha** : I've been trying to send this text message for the past hour and you're the one with the heart attack??

**martha** : anyway I want you to meet my signifs like soon

**martha** : but also like bring your signifs bc I love them

**johnn** : me too

**martha** : you embarrass me

**johnn** : I'm making up for lost time

**martha** : rude

**johnn** : you should have expected this

**martha** : oh my god

**martha** : anyway so when do you get off of work

**johnn** : 5

**martha** : so like do you want to get dinner or smth??

**johnn** : hold on

**martha** : okay

\---

**johnn** : OKAY SO

**little lion** : why are we in a new chat

**laf** : ??

**more like HUNKules** : ???

**martha** : I'm here

**little lion** : and,,,you are,,,,??

**martha** : martha laurens??

**little lion** : oH

**little lion** : HI MARTHA

**martha** : HI ALEX

**little lion** : wait how do you know who we are

**martha** : john gave me your numbers before and told me to brace myself

**little lion** : RUDE

**johnn** : LOVE YOU THO

**little lion** : <3 <3 <3

**more like HUNKules** : a question: what is this about

**martha** : I want you all to come to dinner with me and meet my signifs

**little lion** : can we go to olive garden??

**martha** : sure??

**little lion** : I'm in

**laf** : were you ever not in

**little lion** : no but if we were going to Not olive garden I would've been slightly less in

**laf** : oh my god

**martha** : mE THO

**little lion** : I knew there was a reason I liked you

**martha** : so when are we going??

**johnn** : we could go after work tonight

**martha** : yeah that works

**martha** : I have to go to class rn so I'll see you all later!!

**johnn** : bye!!

**little lion** : bye martha!!

**laf** : ttyl

**more like HUNKules** : bye!!!

\---

**laf** : I can hear john squealing from my office

**johnn** : this is so exciting!!! I get to see my sister!!! ah!!!

**little lion** : I love seeing john happy it's so nice

**laf** : rt

**more like HUNKules** : RT

**johnn** : also like what if her signifs are awful I can't fight two people at once

**laf** : we're going with you??

**little lion** : plus they'll probably be taller than us

**johnn** : fuck true

**johnn** : how do I make myself look taller

**laf** : heels that you can't walk in and vertical stripes that I won't let you be seen in

**johnn** : wow okay

**laf** : sorry love it's just the truth

**johnn** : I don't even care bc it's my sister!!

**johnn** : also she just texted me her address and told me that we should stop there before we go

**little lion** : I'm literally so excited are we coordinating our outfits

**laf** : I'm wearing red I called it

**little lion** : is it fall enough for fall colors

**laf** : it better be I have a dress for this

**little lion** : you're helping me pick out clothes for this

**laf** : of course

**little lion** : dear god I love you

**laf** : I love you too omg  
  
**more like** **HUNKules** : can I even go to an olive garden considering what happened last time

**johnn** : I

**johnn** : oh god what have we signed up for

**little lion** : tbh I could make it routine

**more like HUNKules** : NO THANK YOU I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE THROUGH THIS DINNER

**laf** : I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO BE ABLE TO BE THERE FOR ALL OF IT

**johnn** : RT

**little lion** : your loss

**more like HUNKules** : oh we know

\---

**johnn** : HERCULES LETS G O WE HAVE TO GO HOME AND GET READY

**more like HUNKules** : IM COMING IM COMING MY KNITTING BAG ZIPPER IS S TU C K

**little lion** : speaking of that you haven't been to knitting club in a r e a l l y long time

**more like HUNKules** : yeah I stopped going bc calvin and meredith quit and w/o them what is the point

**little lion** : why did they quit

**more like HUNKules** : they said that they had too many adventures to go on together that they couldn't make it to the meetings

**more like HUNKules** : they were in the bahamas on vacation last time I talked to them last week

**little lion** : couple goals

**johnn** : that's literally going to be us in like 50 years

**little lion** : true true

**johnn** : nOW COME O N

**more like HUNKules** : OH MY GOD I GOT THE ZIPPER OKAY OKAY OKA Y

\---

**little lion** : I'm screaming  
  
**johnn** : ??

**little lion** : lafayette is holding up two iDENTICAL COLOR DRESSES and asking me to pick them as if I have fashion sense

**laf** : THEYRE NOT THE SAME COLOR DRESS

**laf** : ONE IS SANGRIA AND THE OTHER IS FRENCH WINE NOW YOU GOTTA PICK ONE BC IDK WHICH ONE I WANT TO WEAR

**little lion** : idk I'd go with sangria bc it's like darker and more of an autumn color

**little lion** : plus it's prettier

**laf** : sangria it is then

**little lion** : you still have to help me pick out clothes

**laf** : your outfit is being based off of mine bc we need to match

**johnn** : do I have to match?? I'm already dressed

**laf** : yes I know but your shirt matches the dress and alex's shirt, which I already have picked out, will match and then hercules, if he ever decides, will probably match bc we're on the same wavelength when it comes to color schemes

**more like HUNKules** : we have sO MANY CLOTHES

**more like HUNKules** : WHEN DID WE GET THIS MANY CLOTHES

**laf** : there's more in the very back of the closet,,,,,,

**more like HUNKules** : oh my god

**laf** : we're literally a four wardrobe family living with two dressers and two closets what do you expect

**little lion** : our dresser isn't even our clothes clothes it's like our sock collection, underwear, and pajamas

**johnn** : false we also keep our sweaters in them

**little lion** : oh true true

**little lion** : also why are you in the living room come in here

**johnn** : fine but if you mess up my hair I'm killing you

**little lion** : actually will you braid mine

**johnn** : yeah

**little lion** : yAY

\---

**more like HUNKules** : alex

**little lion** : ??

**more like HUNKules** : why did I just find a box in here with four different garter belts in it

**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,

**more like HUNKules** : all in different colors with matching stockings

**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**more like HUNKules** : I'm so???

**laf** : oh my gOD

**little lion** : DONT JUDGE ME

**more like HUNKules** : WHY WOULD I JUDGE YOU FOR THIS

**more like HUNKules** : IF ANYTHING IM JUDGING MYSELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO GET MY BREATH BACK AS EASILY I SHOULD BE

**little lion** : OH MY GOD

\---

**johnn** : WE ALL LOOK SO GOOD

**laf** : RT

**little lion** : R T

**more like HUNKules** : ARE YOU GOING WITH THE LIKE RED/BEIGE/WHITE ISH COLOR SCHEME

**laf** : YEAH

**more like HUNKules** : GOOD BC THATS WHAT I WENT WITH

**laf** : FUCKIN COME OUT HERE THEN

**more like HUNKules** : OKAY

**little lion** : OH M Y G

\---

**little lion** : my body hurts

**johnn** : it's not our fault that you saw hercules and fell off the couch

**little lion** : he's just,,,,very beautiful and I'm just,,,,,very gay

**johnn** : fuckign rt

**little lion** : okay yes but the left side of your body isn't currently bruising bc of it

**johnn** : yes true but still

**little lion** : :^(((

**johnn** : I'll kiss your entire body after this when we get home

**little lion** : dEAL

\---

**laf** : this is the official documentation of my will

**laf** : everything goes to hercules mulligan, john laurens, and margarita schuyler

**more like HUNKules** : ha that's cute you think I'm gonna live through this

**johnn** : y'all are ridiculous

**laf** : youRE THE ONE CRYING RN

**johnn** : YES BC OUR HUSBAND PLAYING WITH DOGS IS A VERY CUTE THING THAT I DID NOT KNOW I NEEDED UNTIL NOW YOU DIDNT HAVE TO POINT IT OUT OT THE WHOLE ROOM

**laf** : YOU WERE THE ONE BEING A HYPOCRITE

**johnn** : FUCKCKCFK

**more like HUNKules** : IM CRYING SO HARD I GOTTA GO

**johnn** : FUCKIFN GO WH E RE WE'RE IN MY SISTERS APARTMENT

**more like HUNKules** : HEAVEN BC IM D E A D

**laf** : ha that's cute you think you're going to heaven

**more like HUNKules** : HUSH

\---

**martha** : are you okay

**johnn** : what

**martha** : all of your signifs are crying except for alex who is being slowly surrounded by my children

**johnn** : HOW MANY DOGS DO YOU HAVE

**martha** : five

**johnn** : IM DECEASED BYE I GOTTA GO

**martha** : are y'all always like this

**johnn** : which part the crying or the getting buried by dogs

**martha** : the crying

**johnn** : yeah it happens a lot

**martha** : whY

**johnn** : wERE JUST REALLY GAY

**martha** : me too me too

**johnn** : whAT ARE THEIR N AM ES

**martha** : lucy, edmund, peter, susan, and jack

**johnn** : you named one of your dogs after me??

**martha** : yeah

**martha** : you and the chronicles of narnia children

**johnn** : I see that

**johnn** : I'm honored tbh

**martha** : good bc I wasn't changing it if you weren't

**johnn** : I should have expected that

\---

**little lion** : ,,,,guys

**laf** : WE'RE REALLY EMO OKAY YOU'RE REALLY CUTE

**little lion** : I have no words

**more like HUNKules** : it was aDORABLE

**little lion** : SHE HAS SO MANY DOGS  
  
**little lion** : I LOVE THEM

**little lion** : IM STEALING THEM

**johnn** : SHE WILL KILL YOU

**laf** : NOT TO MENTION HER SIGNIFS WOULD PROBABLY KILL YOU TOO

**little lion** : THE DOGS WILL PROTECT ME

**laf** : omg

**laf** : also our apartment doesn't allow dogs so no

**little lion** : WE HAVE TO MOVE ANYWAY

**laf** : we don't HAVE to

**laf** : I mean we should SOON but that doesn't mean we Have to

**johnn** : THEYRE COMING OUT NOW SHSHHHHSHHSHSH

**laf** : SORRY

**little lion** : oOPS

\---

**more like HUNKules** : I'm scared of them tbh

**little lion** : same

**laf** : martha manning looks like she can and should kill me

**laf** : david looks like someone I would date in college

**laf** : YOU CANT GLARE AT ME LIKE THAT

**little lion** : I AGREE BUT AT THE SAME TIME

**laf** : SORRY I LOVE YOU

**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,love you too

**more like HUNKules** : love you too

**laf** : :^))))

**more like HUNKules** : :^))))

**little lion** : :^))))

\---

**laf** : are yOU ALMOST DONE HAVING A MINI CONFERENCE IN THE KITCHEN

**johnn** : WHY

**laf** : BC ALEX AND MARY ARE CURRENTLY HAVING A CUTE ARGUMENT OVER WHETHER OR NOT ALEX IS 50 YEARS OLD

**laf** : SHE CLALELD HIM GRANDPA AND HE FUCKING G AS PED IM WHEE ZIN G

**johnn** : OH MY GOD WE'RE COMING OUT WE'RE COMING OUT

\---

**johnn** : so while we're in this cab on the way to olive garden

**johnn** : your thoughts on martha manning and david

**little lion** : I like them!!

**johnn** : sAME

**laf** : does your sister speak french

**johnn** : my whole family speaks french

**johnn** : don't ask why my dad made us learn it

**laf** : okay bc I said Something to alexander and she smiled at me so I was just wondering

**johnn** : oh my god what did you say

**little lion** : they said that they loved me and that I was beautiful idk why they're Yellin

**laf** : ANYWAY

**laf** : I think they're cute

**laf** : like all of them together

**little lion** : a question

**little lion** : if I asked your sister martha to join the bi bros do you think she'd join

**johnn** : probably??

**little lion** : REALLY

**little lion** : OH MY GOD WAIT

**johnn** : oh no

\---

**little lion** : MARTHA

**martha** : WHAT

**little lion** : SO BASICALLY ME AND HERCULES' BROTHER HUGH HAVE THIS GROUP

**little lion** : CALLED THE BI BROS

**martha** : I

**little lion** : WANNA JOIN

**martha** : WHAT DO I GET

**little lion** : MEMBERSHIP IN A FAKE RAP GROUP AND A COOL JACKET TO BE MADE AT AN UNDECIDED DATE

**martha** : OH THEN YEAH IM IN

**little lion** : GOD B L E S S

\---

**little lion** : HUGH

**hugh lowercase** : DID WE FORGET TO VACUUM THE LIVING ROOM BEFORE WE LEFT

**little lion** : YES BUT THATS NOT WHAT IM HERE FOR

**hugh lowercase** : ???

**little lion** : SO THE BI BROS HAVE A NEW MEMBER

**hugh lowercase** : I'm listening

**little lion** : ITS JOHN'S LITTLE SISTER MARTHA

**hugh lowercase** : okay so when are we getting the jackets

**little lion** : I was thinking at like,,,christmas

**hugh lowercase** : I'll take it

**little lion** : pERFECT

\---

**martha** : martha m. wants to know if she can join

**little lion** : yES

**little lion** : also what do you call her just like normally

**martha** : wife

**little lion** : omg

**martha** : me and david both call her our wife even tho we're not really married

**little lion** : that's what we do!!

**martha** : ah!!

**little lion** : ah!!

\---

**little lion** : HUGH

**hugh lowercase** : wHAT

**little lion** : OKAY SO THERES ANOTHER MEMBER NAMED MARTHA

**little lion** : AND SHE'S JOHN'S SISTER'S WIFE

**hugh lowercase** : how old is john's sister??

**little lion** : they're not really married and they have a boyfriend

**little lion** : like us but with three people instead of four

**hugh lowercase** : ah

**little lion** : SO ARE YOU COOL WITH THAT?¿

**hugh lowercase** : YE

**little lion** : YAY

**little lion** : GOTTA GO WE'RE AT OLIVE GARDEN NOW

**hugh lowercase** : BYE

\---

**more like HUNKules** : you know how in love you are with someone when your heart beat picks up bc the wind blew and made them look .2% prettier than they just did

**johnn** : which one of us are you talking about

**more like HUNKules** : all of you please kill me I'm very emo

**johnn** : well we're being seated rn so like I don't think dying is your best choice

**more like HUNKules** : but it's easier than not being able to make out with you every 2 seconds  
  
**johnn** : that's what we're doing when we get home then

**little lion** : excuse me you promised to kiss me when we get home

**laf** : I volunteer to take john's place @herc

**more like HUNKules** : I accept

**johnn** : why does this happen every time we go to olive garden

**laf** : hey we said kissing you're the one making it sexual

**johnn** : as if you weren't going to make it sexual as soon as we got home

**laf** : true true

**johnn** : exactly

\---

**little lion** : I should have seen the foreshadowing

**johnn** : NOBODY ELSE HERE EVEN LIKES SANGRIA

**laf** : TOO BAD I HAVE THE LIPSTICK AND THE DRESS FOR IT I CANT PASS UP THIS OPPORTUNITY

**johnn** : IDK WHY YOU HAD TO GET A PITCHER THO

**laf** : COLOR CONVENIENCE

**johnn** : THATS NOT A TH I NG

**laf** : HUSH

\---

**laf** : I'm bitter

**more like HUNKules** : me too

**laf** : what's martha manning's number we can add her to this and be bitter with her and form a group

**more like HUNKules** : what fuckign group would that be

**laf** : the we can't speak spanish but our signifs can and we're biTTER ABT IT group

**more like HUNKules** : I

**laf** : we could always learn spanish

**more like HUNKules** : do we even have the neuroplasticity for that

**laf** : idk??

**more like HUNKules** : I can count up to twenty and give you roughly six color names

**laf** : I

**laf** : that's still more spanish than I know so :///

**more like HUNKules** : I'm praying

**laf** : oh me too

\---

**johnn** : that was fun

**johnn** : I got tO SEE MY SISTER!!!!

**little lion** : you're still so excited abt that I love it

**johnn** : ITS BEEN SO LONG!!!

**little lion** : oh my god the sUN could not compare with how bright your smile is rn

**johnn** : END IT

**laf** : he's not lying love

**johnn** : I COULD DO CARTWHEELS RN

**laf** : can you even do cartwheels

**johnn** : nO BUT I WOULD TRY DESPITE THAT

**more like HUNKules** : I'm so happy for you rn

**johnn** : LET'S GO HOME IM SCREAMING

**laf** : LETS GO!!

**little lion** : WOOOOOOOOOO

\---

**laf** : oh my gOD ALEXANDER

**little lion** : I SAID I COULD MAKE IT ROUTINE

**laf** : FUCK

**johnn** : ARE YOU KIDDING

**more like HUNKules** : OH MY GOD

**little lion** : hA

**laf** : THIS ONES RED

**johnn** : OH

**johnn** : MY

**johnn** : G O D

**laf** : IM FUCKIGN DEAD MY WILL STILL STANDS

**little lion** : tbh you cOULD die at the sight of me like this

**little lion** : or you could like ACTUALLY LOOK AT ME, your husband, standing right here and Do Something About It

**johnn** : fuckign if laf doesn't I will

**little lion** : you still have a promise to keep

**johnn** : fUCK TRUE IM COMING IN

**johnn** : IM ALREADY SWEATING

**more like HUNKules** : RT IM RIGHT BEHIND JOHN

**little lion** : lmao here we go

**laf** : oh dear go

**little lion** : hA

**Author's Note:**

> what is this even about?? idk??
> 
> also this is my 100th work on ao3!!! idk how but thank you to everyone who has read and commented on these ily!!!


End file.
